my sister saw what she believed to be a pillow sailing down the river - she walking closer - it wasn't a pillow it was a decapitated cat -just torso and tail bloated floating filling with toxins- i don't understand - i am starting to distrust water - the leak in my ceiling, the creak in my pipes, the incessant drip drip drip of the air conditioner - if i lay beneath it will i drown? at the beach nurse sharks washed up - we would pick them up - toss the live ones back into the ocean. in the 80s a group of kids gathered around a beached turtle - the lifeguard stood by fiddling with his whistle looking as disturbed as we were - a rescue attempt was made by slipping hands of adult beach goers - the tide pulled at their ankles - their grips slipped from the shell - the turtle dropped in the sand - was done for- i stayed behind- seaweed, saltwater gathered around his toes - then a blond boy a few years younger then me jumped up on the dying turtles back and did some sort of victory dance - like dying was a conquest- like he had something to celebrate